Finding Words

I wandered aimlessly around the book store this afternoon. Fatigue from my early morning still lingering behind my eyes, killing a half an hour before I had to pick up the girls. Letting the exam I wrote wash away from me.

I trailed my fingers along the spines of books, picked up the interesting ones, searching for something. Organizing for Dummies, The Value of Nothing, Eat Love Pray, I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings… I want them all. I don’t want anything.

Tonight’s the night, I told myself. I’d sit at the computer or at the kitchen table with a pencil and just let myself go. I’d let it out, I even composed a little in my head.

But then the car was full of noisy children and there was supper to make. The girls both sleep now, while the kitchen is messy, counter piled with dishes I just don’t have the energy to deal with right now.

And I’m sitting here wondering, worrying… maybe I just don’t have anything to say.

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