I spent the day with my mom in a self-indulgent splurge, and went shopping.
Lately, I’ve been on a quest for fabulous jeans. I tried on no less than 20 pairs of jeans today, no exaggeration. I wanted something dark and slim fitting, but not “skinny” jeans. I’m… oh I don’t know how to describe my body. I consider myself thick-legged, although no one will agree to that. I think maybe “athletic” but when I read about dressing an “athletic” body in magazines, they always talk about lack of curves, and that’s not really applicable either. I would say curvy, but that often goes hand-in-hand with heavier, which I’m not either. So basically, I don’t fit in a box (which is probably why I have suck a hard time finding jeans I like).
End of story, I got a great pair of jeans, and once I get them hemmed, I think I’ll post a pic of myself in them. They weren’t cheap and they aren’t boot-cut (which is my go-to cut) and they aren’t something I usually wear (you know, faded jeans or yoga pants and a t-shirt… I’m not exactly fabulously fashionable) but I’m happy with them. I also bought an amazing trench/rain coat at Eddie Bauer on crazy sale and it’s so lovely, maybe I’ll wear it with my jeans for the picture.
I ran 20k yesterday, in the overcast warm weather. It was perfect. At 7k, I veered off the road onto a trail and ran for 6k there. It proved to be a great decision. Much more peaceful than a busy road, and while I often find running with no change of scenery really boring, I let my thoughts wander yesterday, watching through the trees for rivers and fallen logs. Back out of the trail and onto the road proved hard, as I came out halfway up a big hill, but I made good time and my goal of a half marathon in under two hours is proving to be more and more possible with each long run. Barring any unforeseen injury between now and June 20, it’s mine.
Which in itself kind of makes me giddy with excitement. When I decided that two hours would be my goal time for this race, part of me really didn’t think it was possible, I thought that “close to two hours” would be as good as I ever got, ever. But now it’s proven to be not as close to my physical limit as I thought and man, it’s blowing me away. I’m proud of myself and surprised and I wonder, what else could I do?
I’m not going to lie: I want to run another marathon, I’m just not convinced this is the year for it. I’m not not convinced, either. I might do a triathlon later this summer, but I’m… well, I’m afraid. I don’t have a great bike, it’s a mountain bike and it would be really slow on a road race. And what if… I don’t know, what if I’m last? Or everyone laughs at me? Or something. It’s silly and stupid and after everything I’ve learned about myself in the past year, I can’t help but be afraid to do it. There! I said it. But you know… maybe.