I was thinking about when Alena as a newborn the other day, and I remembered feeling that two kids wasn’t twice the work. Or did I feel that two kids was more than twice the work? I can’t remember.
Then it dawned on me that so many of those new days are very hazy (as it goes), but I made a point with Alena to sit and watch her nurse without worrying about regulating sides, and I let her eat when she wanted to without worrying about the last time she ate and I was much more patient at night, knowing that the sweet milky moments when I was smelling her fluffy hair and I was all that she needed, all that she wanted, end quickly.
I remember one morning, my mom was visiting and Alena was about four days old. I opened the fridge and milk spilled everywhere, and oh, it sent me over the edge. Mom tried to help but I told her to leave me alone and let me do it and I sobbed as I tried to wipe up the milk until Steve took me by the shoulders and led me to my room and put me to bed where I cried for a while longer and fell asleep.
And I remember another night, standing in the hallway of our house, outside the two (now) full bedrooms and my heart exploded with love I did not know I could feel. Alena completed our family, bringing to each member a gift. Her name means “light”, and she is, very much, a shining light, a bubble of love and wonder and curiosity and mischievousness.
And tomorrow she’ll be two.