When I first became a mom I was very hesitant to admit some things. Like that I was overwhelmed and scared, most of all. But other things too, like the fact that I had no sex drive. Like, at all.
Seriously, Leila’s first year was a tough one on us as a couple. I think the main issue is that I had a difficult time reconciling the idea of motherhood with sexuality. They seemed to be on opposite ends of the scale (which, they are) and I didn’t know how to do both. And I couldn’t really give either one up. (Oh, I would have happily gone without for that year, but *someone* insisted.)
Things are different now, I’m happy to say. All these aspects of myself combine and twirl together and honestly? The enjoyment came back into our sex life years ago now, but it’s only been recently that I’ve actually felt sexy.
I forgot how fucking awesome it feels.