One of my classes is a second-year business class (Organizational Behaviour). Despite the dubious title, it’s really interesting. The prof is completely engaged and teaching something she obviously loves. The text book is downright interesting (a first with business classes for me). Once a week there is a lecture in a large (for my school) lecture hall (holds 250 people). The other class is a lab consisting of 23 students from the class. I guess the goal is to encourage group discussions and a more inclusive understanding of the material. We’ll eventually have group discussions on the lecture material and two projects (one to hand in, one to present).
Today was the second lab, and it’s… well, it’s horrible. I don’t even know where to begin. 75 minutes of forced small talk with people that I have absolutely zero in common with? Oh you got, like, soooo drunk this weekend? I, uh, sat in front of the fire after my kids were in bed on Friday and read a textbook because my husband was working late. Awesome, right?
I can get over that, because it’s just how the class is structured. And I can even bite my tongue because I know I was once young and stupid. But the T.A. made us “get to know” each other for almost the entire 75 minutes today. After it became apparent that I was not “included” in the group that had formed beside me, I changed seats, only to be shunned again! What the fuck second years? Sure I’m older than you and sure we have nothing to talk about but 1) Don’t be so fucking rude and at least say hello and 2) Think about it for a second: Mature Student = will do more than her share of the work. So I went back to my original seat and surfed Facebook on my phone because Fuck. That.
The worst of it is? It bothered me. I’m not a shy person, and despite having a few self-esteem issues, I’m quite confident in a roomful of people I don’t know. I mean, I can small talk away my nervousness and at least I’m a sincere enough of a person to be friendly. I haven’t felt so awkwardly out of place in… years. And I forgot how god-damned awful it feels.
The class will be formed into five self-assigned groups. Which means there will be three people left over (I now dub us the Rejects) to form the fifth group. I’m not sure if it’s the T.A. trying to be nice by letting people choose the groups or if she’s under instruction from the prof, but it’s ridiculous. Obviously, I feel that way because my feelings got hurt, but it seems to turn it into a popularity contest. No one liked being the last kid chosen for teams in gym class, no one likes being the person without a group.
I’ve oft proclaimed that Hell Hath No Fury Like a Teen-aged Girl’s Scorn, but fuck, maybe hell hath no fury like a suburban mom’s scorn. Be rude to me will you? I’ll have the best damned presentation in the whole fucking class. Idiots.