30 Days of Truth: Day Fifteen

Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Running.

I’ve been active my whole life, but as far back as I can remember, I get these feelings sometimes of my skin crawling. I can’t settle,  my clothes don’t fit and my skin just…. crawls. I’ve never known what it was.

Until recently. It’s anxiety. I don’t know why it comes, I’m not sure what sets it off, but here it is. Definitely worse at certain times of the month or stressful moments in life, but it hovers, constantly, in the background. Apparently there’s medication you can take for this (who knew??) but for me there’s one thing, tried and true that makes me feel better.

A run. On the good ones, I slip into this meditation zone. At first, my feet ht the ground loudly, and I listen to the music playing in my earbuds. But eventually, it fades away and I zone out. There have been runs when I don’t remember half the songs on my playlist playing. And afterwards, that crawly-skin feeling is much further back that the background, it’s gone completely.

I was extremely emotional and sensitive during both my pregnancies. While obviously that’s partly par for the course, looking back I’m quite sure it was because I was inactive. If it were ever to happen again, I would run for as long as possible and then continue with walking.

Running saves me from myself, to put it simply.

So *could* I live without it, if I had to? Yeah, I guess. But it sure as hell wouldn’t be pretty.

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