It sneaks in, on the days I don’t run. Suddenly it’s four o’clock in the afternoon and my stomach is turning and I feel like scratching the skin on my arms because something is crawling.

It sneaks in, when life is busy and it’s been a couple of days since I laid skin to skin on our bed with Steve, just existing.

These two things make me feel better, connected, stable.

We went to a friends house last night, the boys drank too much and us gals sat and chatted. It was good to get out of the house, but we were late and I’m tired this morning, sitting here with Dora as background noise wondering how long I should let Steve sleep because if I don’t get out in the fresh air that is promising snow soon, I just might scratch my own skin off.

This anxious morning will evolve into a relaxed family day, I know. The sky is dark and heavy with snow. My younger brother arrives from Vancouver this morning. The kids are lethargic and maybe getting sick, but at least they slept until 7:30.

I’m tired. And my legs are jumpy. So a-running I will go.

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