Honestly on Attraction

How do you feel about attraction? I mean, do you think it’s important to feel attractive to the opposite sex (or rather, the sex to which you are attracted)?

Ideally, I feel that if you are a confident person, you don’t need that feeling of being desired so much. But realistically, I think that if you feel that no one sees you as desirable, it can hard on you.

Take me for example. Although Steve is nothing short of wonderful, I often feel that no other man sees me. I go to school with 19 year old boys who are too busy trying to catch the cute girl sitting in front of them to notice anyone above the age of 23. Our circle of “couple” friends consists mostly of the boys that Steve grew up with, all of whom are great and have wonderful wives/girlfriends who I get along with well, but there’s certainly nothing aside from friendship between any of us.

And it’s not that I want temptation or fire to play with, it’s not that I’m not satisfied with my relationship with Steve. We are truly best friends, we talk about everything and are very much in love. But… I don’t know. Is it wrong to wish that once in a while I could feel like I exist outside of this marriage or family or life?

Steve works with a lot of women. And there are friendly relationships and flirty friendships and even some downright inappropriate comments made to him by his co-workers (one in particular) (see also: GRAH!). And while I don’t think that a few sexually charged comments made by some skank ass bitch face overly sexual co-worker will tempt him away from me, I do realize that it’s flattering, regardless of how discouraging to her he is.

This isn’t really about some woman wanting my man, because it boils down to trust, and I do trust him. And it isn’t even about him being flattered, because it’s nothing more than flattery. And, even though I wish it weren’t the case, it isn’t an unmarried woman’s responsibility to respect someone else’s marriage, not really anyway (Ideally, yes, everyone should respect other people’s relationships, but that’s just not the way, and that’s also my own personal opinion, coming from the perspective of a married woman. Although I’ve always felt that way, but anyway.)

I’m rambling, I know. But I don’t know. Maybe it’s vanity or self indulgence, but sometimes, I just wish someone other than Steve would express interest in me. There. I said it. Not because I want anything other than what I have, but maybe just to know that I could.

2 Comments on “Honestly on Attraction

  1. I like ‘ the idea’ of feeling attractive to other people. In reality, the few times it has happened over the years – it has made me incredibly uncomfortable. I don’t know if this is a confidence issue, or what – but attention from men actually makes me a bit uncomfortable. (It didn’t used to…)

    I think it is normal, and important, to feel attractive – even to other people.

  2. I think we all want to feel wanted and desired. It’s human nature. It is nice to know others find you attractive. 🙂

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