“Challenging your deepest, irrational and emotional beliefs is messy.”
Yesterday wasn’t a great day. And it sucks, because just when I start to think I’m mostly out of the woods, I take a step back.
We fought and I cried and he got frusterated and I was left thinking about how sometimes you need someone to gab you by the scruff of the neck and yank you out of the pile of shit you’re sitting in. About how you need someone to slap you (figuratively, or course) with reality to smarten you the hell up. And yes, sometimes that is true. But other times? It doesn’t matter what anyone says, because we are very capable of allowing our minds to believe the darkest thoughts inaginable. Other times, you need to lay on your bed and just cry.
That can be hard for people to understand, especially those who are more logic and less emotional. Sometimes you need to just get it out. It’s messy and painful, but there it is. Snot streaming and crying into an old t-shirt balled up in your hands.
After I stood up and was starting to get dressed, Steve came back into the bedroom. He pulled me beside him on the bed and wrapped his arms around me and told me how much he loved me. He breathed my scent in and rubbed my back with his arms wrapped tight around me and asked me if I was ok. And then I was.
Because sometimes? After you cry and yell at the person trying to pull you out of your own shit? You need them to wade into it with you and carry you out.